Month: May 2009

It’s a Running Thing …

Running with Blinders

Ever notice what happens when a motorcyclist passes another?  If not, make an observation the next time you encounter this situation.  To kill the suspense, they will almost always acknowledge each other.  A wave, a nod a telling smile.  Each acknowledging to the other that they get the lifestyle and share a common appreciation.  This same recognition happens when owners of Jeep Wranglers pass by each other especially when both are topless.  On the Jeep front,  there is considerable more enthusiasm shown.  Unlike the first example, my wife drove a Wrangler for years so I experienced this numerous times.  I do not know how this started, but Jeep has put a brand on this cult like behavior and has a full throttle marketing campaign based around it.  In fact, they label you as an outsider in hopes of peaking your interesting into buying your way into the clique.  “It’s a Jeep Thing, You Wouldn’t Understand”  Side note, we have sold our Jeep and switched to a BMW and they are right, I don’t understand …. why anyone wouldn’t want to be driving a BMW convertible instead of a Jeep!

Now you are probably asking yourself what any of this has to do with running.  If you read this blog it is a good bet you already know I enjoy running.  Scratch that, I really do not get that much enjoyment out of it but it does keep the weight off.  It is a personal struggle to push through the pain to put one foot in front of another until a predefined destination or duration is met.   In exactly the same manner as bikers and Jeep owners, runners acknowledge other runners they encounter (outside of actual races). A quick wave or smile just to let the other person know you feel their discomfort.  Previously I would have said “always” acknowledge other runners, but last week while running in Jubilee College I passed a runner coming the opposite way.  Headphones are prominent in this activity so I generally just go with a quick wave.  Nothing big, just a little sign.  I was taken back when there was no reciprocation.  Nothing at all.  There were no cars on the road, nothing that may have distracted him from seeing my wave and trust me, no matter what running zone you are in, you still observe everything around you…. if for nothing else, to keep from getting killed by a non-attentive driver.  I made a mental note and went about my punishment.

For the record, if I am out running the pavement alone the blinders are off.  I make every attempt to acknowledge other people in the area in case my heart gives out or those devious squirrels try to trip me.

Public Enemy #2 or Ders Evil n Dem Woods

I have seen the face of evil and it wears a mask.  In my quest to rid myself of Public Enemy #1, I overlooked his demon spawn brethren.

Raccon

That’s right, my latest nuisance is the masked bandit himself (sorry for the flash eyes).  Actually I must instead refer to them as bandits since there are about three of them that have taken it upon themselves to terrorize my bird feeders.  For the the longest time I could not figure out why my seed kept disappearing so fast.  At first I thought the birds were just really hungry, but as time progressed, it kept going down faster and faster.  That’s when I noticed these guys coming around.

Raccon

Sure, they look kind of cute, but they have this feature called opposable thumbs which apparently fuels their passion to climb.  It just so happens that my feeders are attached to a tree.  Yes, you know where I am heading with this don’t you?

Raccon

I actually figured my rope approach to hanging the feeders would prevent the little varmints from being able to reach them.  Obviously, the squirrels figured out how to navigate this obstacle, but I figured the weight of the raccoon would deter this kind of bad behavior.  That would be a big error in judgment based on the fact they apparently took some pointers from monkeys.  Check this acrobat move out.

Raccon Hanging

I like this shot a lot for a couple of reasons.  First off, it shows exactly how my birdseed is disappearing.  It reaches its mischievous little paws into the larger feeder openings and throws it to the ground where his friends are waiting to eagerly to feast.  Interestingly enough, only one of the three is ever up in the tree at one time so there must be some kind of short straw thing going on.  The other reason I like this shot is it shows the hanging technique it has mastered to defeat my rope system.  Check out that back leg latched onto the branch.  In case you are having trouble seeing it, here is a closer view.

Raccon Hanging

Please continue reading after the jump.  I have a bunch more pictures of this demon spawn.

Continue reading Public Enemy #2 or Ders Evil n Dem Woods

Marketing Deceived

Nothing, and I mean nothing gets my blood boiling more than when I am deceived by weenies in marketing.  Unfortunately, this recently happened to me thanks to Sunny D.  I was in Sam’s picking up a few items when I noticed they had a case of little SunnyD bottles.  I noticed the 100% Vitamin C on the label and thought this would be a quick way to get my C intake – this is my tried and true way to keep the sick days down since my coworkers have a tendency to bring every mutant flu strain there is into my office.  I’ll go to 1000mg when I feel the germs trying to take hold.

Sunny D Label

See it up there in the upper right hand corner.  Out there in the prominent front of the label and and easily visible.  Convincing myself to spend the money, I hauled the case into the cart and made my way to the registers and paid for my items.  This of course only means I have to go through the completely ridiculous, asinine, inconvenient, irksome, infuriating and idiotic integrity check at the door.  First off, there is absolutely no way they can actually verify my receipt with a quick scan of the cart and secondly, how the hell am I going to actually steel a box of 400 ding dongs?  … tuck it under my armpit and hope nobody notices.. not!  But I digress, this rant is about marketing deception, not failed business processes.

Later in the day, I had a thirst and decided to enjoy one of my new juice bottles.  Apparently bored, I started reading the nutrition facts.  I usually do this at the store, but in my haste I forgot to give it a good viewing.

Sunny D Label

Wow, I did not expect the calorie count on such a little bottle, but that isn’t what stuck out.  Check out the Vitamin C entry – 80% of my daily value.   Wait a minute, that didn’t align with my pre-purchase analysis.  Turning the bottle back to the front, I notice the issue.  Maybe you noticed it by now, but that fine print I glossed over says “per 8 oz serving”.  A quick scan down to the left corner to reveal the deception.  The bottle only contains 6.75 oz.  This is absolute deception in my book.  Even if I opened two bottles I wouldn’t know how to estimate 1.25 ounces to get my DV not to mention the new “true” calorie content.  Unbelievable.  Yes, I was fooled and in essence it comes down to my fault, but I would love this company to explain this labeling practice.  In fact, I have already made my comments regarding their company’s integrity on their corporate website and will gladly update this with any weasel reasoning they try to respond with.

As of now, there will never be another Sunny D purchase made by me again.   Fool me once shame on you … never give them a chance to fool you again.. kudos to me

I have Been to the Gates of Hell

Devil Cake Although it pains me greatly, I have decided to heed my brother’s advice and censor myself.  As a result of this action, I will not be publishing the contents of this particular post.  Trust me, you would have thoroughly enjoyed it because I am guessing you have never experienced this particular situation…. and if you had, then you have my condolences.  So all I can say is I’ve been to the GATES of HELL, rapped on the iron and almost crossed the threshold before being pulled back into sanity.   At sometime in the future I may breakdown and publish the story, but for now I am going to simply count this as a post (I still have all my notes) and let this one simmer a bit.

Anatomy of an Art Project: ExactaRazzaMatazz

I have always been impressed by individuals with both a creative mind and the ability to actually deliver a work of art.  My definition of art is probably narrower than those in the representative field and has some definite parameters for me to consider worthy of my attention.  First off, it must be something I find unique.  If it can be reproduced in large batches it is not fit my definition. Nothing catches my attention more than when I see a common object that is rendered from a completely non-traditional viewpoint or perspective.  Secondly, it has to take some time to create.  A single stroke of paint across a white background is not art.  A vase sitting in the middle of a room with a white goldfish swimming in gold colored water with a human figurine on a fishhook is not art.  And lastly it has to be worth actually looking at.  The last one is pretty subjective, but the last time I was at the Chicago Museum of Art the displays in the basement consisted of the following two displays.  One room consisted entirely of dead birds stuck on large sticks and stuck in upright in the floor.  Each bird head was then covered with the shell of a stuffed animal’s head (as in just the outer covering).  After dismissing that display of having any value I was met with a room full of black and white photographs of people’s scars.  Crisp and well lit images, but boring and uninspiring. 

I can feel the art snobs getting their panties in a bunch about how art expands the mind and shouldn’t be confined to established ways of thinking.  I am guessing these people are going on and on about the symbolic images entwined in the goldfish display detailed above.  Pontificating on how society has lost are own color but unaware because we are bathing in the false reflection.   The fishhook clearly representing a desperate attempt to dye (metaphor) in color.  Seam reasonable to you?  A display for the enlightened and profound?  If so, then I have proven my point.  I made that particular scene up 5 minutes ago. 

On a personal front, a hobby of mine is trying to reproduce pieces of art I find fascinating.  In no way do I hope to achieve the same level of quality on a particular piece but then again, I really do not consider myself an artist.  I enjoy experiencing the journey and insights from other more creative minds.  Typically this process starts by seeing something that catches my attention.  If it is something that fits my definition of art (see above), the very next thought is whether I could produce something similar.  This does not have to be in the same image or even in the same medium.  Maybe the creative thought can be expanded or possibly a complete different approach could be used to create it.  If this is feasible, it goes on my list of things to do when I have some free time.  This list is fairly huge, but like the “Life List” it is constantly being worked.  

That was a very long intro to my most recent execution of the art process.  I found a link on the web to an artist that actually carved/sculpted in the colored wax medium.  In particular, he made pieces of art out of standard Crayola Crayons.  I was blown away similar to when I saw images of geometric shapes made of carved pencils.  After about an hour of pondering this art form I decided it would only require crayons, small carving knives and some steady hands.  All of which were readily available (at least the first two materials).   It was time to get to work.

I now had the end goal in mind.  First a quick trip to the store to get some crayons.  The next step was to devise a plan of attack.  I would need a way to make a pattern on the crayon so I would know where to cut.  Once the pattern was put on I figured a razor blade could be used to shave away the wax.  A little bit of patience and presto a piece of art would pop out.  Unfortunately, that was not the case.  To get this far took more that anticipated.

Crayon Art

I am not going to give all the details to make it interesting for others who enjoy this type of journey, but I will give some insights to help you out.  I used tape to put the pattern on the crayon.  The thinking is this would also give some support to the crayon as I began removing material.  This was a good assumption that worked out to some extent, but not sufficient to prevent catastrophe in the early attempts.  By the way, I did end up using an exacto knife instead of a straight razor blade which saved a tremendous amount of fatigue on the hands.  The wax did dull the blades pretty fast so recommend you have a few spares around.  Diving into the first version, I started carving immediately after putting the tape on.  The chosen pattern quickly pointed out a flaw in my approach.  After carving for about an hour realization hit that I didnt’ know how deep to cut.  The crayon had some serious weak points in it by making the spiral too thin on the bottom side of the carving.  Eventually I dug too deep (much like the dwarfs did in the Tolkien Trilogy)  and the result was a disappointing mess – see the attempt on the far left.

Crayon Carving Attempts

That image lets the cat out of the bag that this required a number of attempts.  Modification to process required.  I needed a way to know when to stop carving from the top.  There had to be some indicator put into the crayon as a guide.  A trip to the garage resulted in the idea of a large finishing nail.  Getting this guide in place ended up being as difficult as the carving.  Rather than just give away how I did it, I will tell you that it required a significant amount of patience and HAS TO BE CENTERED in the crayon.  Easily typed, difficult to execute.  You can barely make out the guide in this image.

 Crayon with Guide

Two crayons were complete destroyed getting this perfected.  With nail correctly placed I was able to carve the tealish crayon in the image above.  I was working from the bottom to the tip and pretty pleased with the progress until trouble reared its ugly head.  I overestimated the length of the nail and didn’t taper (thin) the carving enough.  When the final cuts were being put into the top portion of the crayon I felt it give. 

Failure 

3 hours of work wasted.  Two changes had to be made to prevent this in the future.  First off the taper had to happen before the end of the nail.  Secondly, there needed to be side supports to give it more support as I neared the tip.  I ended up embedding wire on the outside of the pattern which ended up adding at least two hours to the carving time working around the wires and delicately removing the tape holding the wires so I could finish the carving.  Hint, use one of your extra sharp blades to slice the tape rather than unwrapping it.   Once the majority of carving was done, I switched blades and started cleaning up the cuts.  Pressure was on at this point since the crayon was fully exposed and in a weakened state.  Any slight misstep here would cause heartbreak.  Also make sure the nail can slide in and out easily since any pressure will surely collapse the spiral.

Carving complete

Follow the jump to read the rest of the story

Continue reading Anatomy of an Art Project: ExactaRazzaMatazz

A Holy Sighting at MickeyD’s

Holy McDonaldsYesterday, my wife and I stopped in at the McDonald’s in Knoxville, IL for a quick dinner.  We were heading up to Davenport, IA for another agility dog show.  On our way out I held the door open for two elderly ladies.  The first one was utilizing a cane and was definitely struggling to navigate the walkways.  I must mention the fact they both expressed their appreciation for my deed which seems to be a dying concept in today’s society.  Oftentimes I’ll hold the door open on my way out of an establishment without a bit of acknowledgement.  Probably the most irritating is when they simply walk out past me without reaching out for the door so I can continue on my way. 

Back on topic, I finished holding the door and proceeded alongside the ladies to my car.  They ended up turning left into the parking lot between a truck and car.  As soon as the lady with the cane passed the truck window, a large dog jumped at her barking loudly.  It startled me a little bit, but guessing resulted in a Depends moment for the lady.  She turned white and screamed “Jesus Christ!”  I tried, but couldn’t hold back a laugh.  Either she saw the white light, was seriously pissed off or in fact Jesus might have wanted some tasty nuggets. 

 Note, as I was leaving the parking lot it hit me that the golden arches actually looked like a broken halo.