The Guys Guide to Bathroom Etiquette – A Work in Progress

Updated:6/16/2011 – Bathroom etiquette has been a pretty hot topic as of late with some of my friends… that is when we can tear ourselves away from discussing the drama of Weinergate or Paris Hilton’s latest reality show.  There appears to be some confusion on some of the guy codes associated with the bathroom and I blame it all on our education system.  Just kidding, we all know it’s the fault of liberals.  Regardless, this situation must be corrected or there will be big trouble come the next Rapture prediction.  Clearly god will not take the risk of someone crossing streams or heaven forbid someone talking on their phone while in the stall.  In an attempt to document the major rules, I decided to go ahead and make a reference post…. and to give my friends the ability to quickly look up some protocols before using the bathroom at work.  Amazingly, I was able to find some notes I made about 10 years ago on this subject to use as a starting point (some of the points on that old list were cryptically written and I am having some trouble understanding what those entries were for – needless to say I may have been under the influence of alcohol when that was first penned).  Please post comments if you need a further explanation, desire to contest a rule, want to add some additional rules or maybe even need a call on a sticky situation.

Hit the Jump to see the Guy Code Rules for Bathroom Etiquette

Continue reading The Guys Guide to Bathroom Etiquette – A Work in Progress

I’ll Use My Own Pen, Thank You Anyway

Look at me go, I’m in the process of completing one third of the total number of posts for last month… and the Vegas material has not even been collected yet.  Of course, there is always the quality over quantity argument, but I’m trying my best to cover both.  Today’s entry (actually tonight’s since I made it home from work pretty late) was observed at the State Fair Grounds over the weekend.  If you read my last post you already know I was there for an agility dog show.  The topic at hand was found in a location that I encounter at least one social/guy code violation in a day.  Kind of gave it away with the guy code statement, but just in case we are talking about the men’s public bathroom.  As a staunch supporter and follower of the bathroom guy codes, I am continually amazed at the number of people who are unaware of the unwritten rules or just don’t care.   Nothing creeps me out more than when the “greatest possible distance” rule is violated at the urinals… note, this includes redirection to the stalls if the greatest distance cannot be achieved with the current urinal usage configuration.  This topic probably needs a whole blog on its own, so I’ll redirect back to my main topic … which is bathroom wall writing.  Can someone please explain to me what the fascination is with this particular activity?  I had actually forgotten about this practice until I stepped foot into the public bathroom near the Coliseum Horse Arena.  There on the wall holding the urinal was various witty and thought provoking prose meant to inspire while one relieves.  I jest, of course, since it generally consists of a juvenile phrase followed by a phone number that is generally scratched off or smudged in some manner.  So apparently mid-drain someone decides they need to share an important piece of information, whips out a writing utensil and makes his mark (with the pen/pencil, not with the other although I wouldn’t put it past such a person).  Clearly he (yes, I think I can be gender specific here) didn’t run to the sink, wash his hands and then take out his pen and complete the wall graffiti.  I would also suggest that the dominant hand was used since most people are generally one-handed writers so it was likely involved in uncapping more than the pen or pencil.  If you carry this thought through to the end, he probably places it back in his pocket only to take it out later to write on a piece of paper or some other more appropriate medium.  I can only hope he isn’t a pen cap biter, or worse, offer up the pen to an innocent victim who needs to take a quick note.   But whom am I kidding, what is the true likelihood of this individual washing his hands up exit in the first place?   Betting “on the come” that you think about this the next time you use someone else’s pen or pencil – in actuality I am probably more worried about the guy who wets his fingers to smudge out the number on the wall (ugh!).  Quite intriguing was the person who actually responded to a statement on the wall proclaiming “F**ck Life” with the compelling and mind blowing affirmation of “so right”   (note this reply happened within three hours from the time I first saw the F.L. in the morning)  What is that?  Is your life so boring and diluted that you actually have to respond to a wall scribble?  did you get to zip with a glee in your heart?  Unfortunately, I’ll probably never ever know the answers to that question since that would probably violate an established guy code regarding asking someone the reason for a urinal activity – wait, there is no probably about that – definite VIOLATION.

I leave you with some words of advice… always carry your own pen or pencil so you don’t have to think about this topic ever again