Got Crabs?

I have figured out how Linda and I can make some side money. The beauty of it is we literally do not have to do ANYTHING to earn it, simply stay home for a set period of time during the month of January. Before you get any wrong ideas…it is legal.. at least I think. I’ll let you in on the secret as this business is based on something that isn’t transferable or subject to hostile takeovers….at least I think. The working name for or LLC is “Cold Prevention Limited”. Premise, those enjoying the south will pay us to STAY home minimally the month of January. Last year we brought Texas an ice and snow storm that took them out for weeks. This year, we just fled San Antonio as they were bracing for 20mph winds, freezing temps and sleet. Trying to get below the frost line, we made it back to balmy South Padre Island. That would be a Midwest balmy 46 degrees with 25mph winds. Locals are bundled up like they have tickets to watch Woolly Mammoths juggle Penguins.

Ghost Crab found on a Dauphin Island beach in April 2021

All preventable, of course. Pay your Cold Prevention Limited Club fee (annual of course) and Linda and I agree to say in the broke state of IL during the winter months. Our bad karma stays out of your state and you get to enjoy the seasonably warm weather you have come to expect. Our toes will be cold, but we can snuggle in our blankets made out of hundred dollar bills. For today, need to get this post finished up before a horde of campers march on us with torches and pitchforks!

Hit the jump to find out more about this crusty creature above.

Going with something a little different for today’s post. No feathers in our feature – hell, not even sure it has toes!

Ghost Crab found on a Dauphin Island beach in April 2021

Birds I am pretty good with, got feathers, a bill, two wings .. willing to bet it belongs to the Aves class. Crustaceans are a completely different story. Coupled with the fact I know absolutely zero about species specifics, these moving jumbles of calcium completely creep me out. Really, just look at this thing.

Ghost Crab found on a Dauphin Island beach in April 2021

Why do they creep me out, let me count the ways. First off, basic high school biology taught me the eyes are key to food chain order. Predators front and center, victims more to the side. This creature apparently has the ability to watch its own back. Took a few shots from the front and thought I would sneak behind it and get some closer shots.. was not expecting it to simply rotate those peepers right around with me. basically seeing 360, Sure, there are Owls, but they have ONE neck.

Ghost Crab found on a Dauphin Island beach in April 2021

Next, their movement mechanics are just wrong. Ministry of Silly Walks has nothing on these creatures. This may be human projecting, but if I see a pair of eyes, I expect its primary movement to be forward or directly behind them. Imagine my surprise when this darted out directly opposite that assumption. Took off on a direct line to my right – pretty much staring right at me the entire time. Shivers.

Ghost Crab found on a Dauphin Island beach in April 2021

Finally caught up with it and took a few more snaps before it proceeded to “sink” into the sand. No shoveling, no pushing, no excavation tools pulled out from a secret compartment in its shell – nope, just effortless and calmly lowered itself into the sand.

Ghost Crab found on a Dauphin Island beach in April 2021

lower and lower and lower…what unnatural hellspawn is this Mr. Crusty!?!

Ghost Crab found on a Dauphin Island beach in April 2021

Yes, I see you there. Don’t even get me started on the fact they do not seem to even have toes. The wise Socrates once said, “Never trust anything that doesn’t have toes”. Words to live by people!

Thank god I am out of shots so I can end this nightmare. As a quick background, our crab here .. think it is a crab, pretty sure it is a crab, “Hey Linda, does this look like a crab to you?” – “Yes, you have crabs”..okaaay, our crab comes to you courtesy of Dauphin Island. In fact, it was found right near the Osprey perch mentioned in the previous post. This time we came at it from the beach side (down from Fort Gaines). One of the few areas that I would consider truly accessible beach on the island. Going out on a limb here, but my best guess is today’s feature is a Ghost Crab. A more confident answer would require endless hours of research. Research that involves looking at countless pictures of these creatures. Creatures that, remember, creep me out. Not gonna do it!!! Feel free to correct my hunch in the comments – no pictures please ha! Oh, and I might have taken some liberties with the Socrates quote.

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