All you stats aficionados out there are probably salivating at the moment thinking the time has come when Mr. Blogger is going to blow it. Something like 4 days left in the year and looking at somewhere in the neighborhood of 3 posts still to go. Of course this isn’t just to close out the month, this is to close out the whole year of blogging… to come so close to putting a check mark on the 6th year and let it slip through your grasp. Normally I would be worried, but this holiday vacation has found me in the digital darkroom just about every day trying to close out a big chunk of 2012… and maybe a little of 2011 (shame shame) – The bad news is the processing chemicals are getting to me and my memory is taking a fish slap across the face. The results of this effort are about 650 pictures ready to make their way on to this site in the upcoming year. I was falling too far behind and I really want to get to our more recent photo shoots because I think you’ll like how those came out – I also know our friends in Billings are patiently waiting for our Yellowstone shots taken when we were out there recently.
While going back through the images I stumbled on a set of Phoadtography shots that dropped off my queue somehow. I need to do some verifying, but pretty sure there wasn’t a single Phoadtography post this year which is shocking based on all the trip opportunities we have had over the course of 2012-2013. This means I have the perfect close to the month since:
a) The pictures are all processed
b) The Phoadtography sets tend to span more than one post
c) and .. most important of all .. they don’t really require a lot of mental work to get cranked out – just look at a shot, make some snarky response about it and move on to the next.
Linda says snarky comes easy to me so this quota thingy should be doable. With no more delay, I bring you the Phoadtography shots from our trip through Wisconsin and Michigan back in July 2012. For the record, I’m pretty good with details up to about a year – now 1.5 years and beyond things start to get a little fuzzy on the specifics so exact locations of where these were taken on the trips is somewhere in the fog.
Honey, Enterprise Rental called, they said you can have a midsize available or if interested their new line of Quackmobiles. If you go with the latter you’ll be able to make better time crossing all the rivers .. not to mention the awesome gas mileage – one loaf of bread should be all that is needed to get us where we are going.
I have no idea what is up with this next statue. As far as I can tell, they have a weird breed of eagle up there that has massively fat legs and matching claws. They also possess some strange craving for ummm.. let’s go with an apple only because it is red and there appears t0 be worm coming out of the side of it. Oh, did I mention that these particular apples tend to be carried around by bears. Feel free to weigh in on this, I’m at a loss.
Then there’s this dead American Indian we spotted off the road – guessing this was at a roadside stop based solely on the little bit of sign on the right side. Actually a pretty good sculpture, but just seems a bit strange to have a severed head sitting at a rest stop – not to mention void of all blood.
Hit the jump to see more shots from the road
Believe the following was at Mackinaw Island – Geez, I thought they grew ’em big in Iowa but this is ridiculous.
I get it now, we fought a war completely with big-ass Stratego dudes – don’t look now, but our general is exposed – good thing we surrounded him with bomb pieces. They definitely had a tactical advantage on the battlefield . They could simply turn 90 degrees to the enemy and they be nearly impossible to hit being like an inch thick in all.
Okay, this next one pretty much horrified me. You better be good or Santa’s gonna pop a cap in your ass all gangsta style. Seriously, who though this pose was perfect for this 20+ foot Santa Clause? All that was missing was him actually blowing smoke off the barrel of the gun in his right hand. Say hello to my little friends Ebenezer.
There are so many options for this next statue ranging from “Dammit, who didn’t pick up after their dog?” to “Oh my god, it’s a penile fracture!!!!”. Wait, maybe even “look, it’s that dude from Double Impact trying out for Karate Kid!”
That last quote might be a little obscure, There was a guy in a pink gi in the Double Impact movie which I’ve made fun of ever since I saw it (link here)… I thought about going with a Billy Squier reference but that would have even been more obscure (link here).
From the weird to the strange, I bring you Dinosaur Fisherman. Dinos didn’t go extinct because of the environment .. they got soft!
Saw that sculpture from the road – no sign or anything, just a large dinosaur carrying a fishing rod and a fish. Nothing strange to see her, just a huge dino out catching lunch.
Not far away this creature was spotted also hanging out in the woods. There appears to be a sign to the right of it but not of the shots before or after it gave a clear enough view to actually tell what it says. I am going to go out on a limb and say this is some kind of large blueberry complete with feet and ears that are capable of holding a paint brush. That or it just took an arrow from that Indian a few images back.
This next one is hard to tell exactly what it is – a victim of poor Phoadtography execution for sure. It is actually a giant eagle sculpture positioned nearly perpendicular to the ground attached at the wing. Seems to be going in for the kill on that deer sculpture to the right.
Then there’s decaying horse attempting to jump the fence. The Mummy meets Warhorse mashup the kids are sure to have nightmares about for the rest of their lives. Just needs to find a few more horses to suck the life out of and those holes will be cleared up in no time.
Hey look, it’s a life size Ray Romano!
This was a target rich environment at this location. Not only do we get the Woolly Mammoth above, but also have a giant walking bear and Petoskey Stones! This seems to a tad out of place if you ask me – Petoskey Stones were created o around 419-358 million years ago before large vertebrates were even around – everyone knows that geez!
Okay, okay, I had no idea what a Petoskey Stone was until I went to Wikipedia (link here) – come for the snarky comments leave with a expanded knowledge – what a deal.
It is clear from the number of images in this Phoadtography set that Wisconsin and Michigan like their bears. They even hire them to be their doormen. Strange enough, management is concerned about lack of repeat business bringing new meaning to “eating” into the profits.
Check out this town square bear sculpture (if you can make it out – some major poor execution on this shot – fuzzy, crooked – definitely amateur Phoadtography work).
Hey councilmen, what should we use to decorate our town square? Well, we could go with a giant arch made out of Elk antlers. Nah, that’s already been done. I know, how about a palace decorated entirely out of corn. Nah, that’s just stupid – who would want to see something like that?!? Screw it, let’s go with the scariest looking bear we can find – everyone will love that!
Honey, stay close by when we go to use the vacuum cleaner – if that thing spots us I need someone to kneecap so I can make it to safety. Figured I’d pull out our running Yellowstone joke (see what I did there, I made a double joke .. running, kneecapping … sigh never mind). Sometime you should ask Linda for details on our Bear story in the Grand Tetons this year. We expectantly came way too close to one on a trail. Rather than going with the kneecapping idea for self preservation, she essentially tried to depants me … just ask her, she’ll tell you all about it.
Don’t any of you Tannerite fans get any ideas – I already have a giant burn patch in my yard from a little bag of that stuff and I heard over our Christmas dinner that our neighbors managed to blow up a washing (or for my hometown readers wa[r]shing) machine during one of the Redneck Wednesdays I missed this year. They would probably salivate seeing this prop.
Hey, they finally made a hat big enough for President Bumbles ego.
For the curious, that is a Stormy Kromer of which I only know because of the nearby sign.
They are supposedly a popular Midwest attire which is odd since I live in the Midwest and I NEVER HEARD OF THEM before. I did read up on them thanks to our friends over at Wikipedia. That is where I learned they actually gave the president a bunch of these when he was there to speak in February 2011 – and you thought I was kidding about the president comment.
Check this out, I was photobombed when taking this shot the first time.
Nothing like having a Ferrari or Lamborghini drive by you while out taking pictures in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Them hats must be damn nice to draw money like that to the area – more likely donor kickbacks.
And lastly I bring you the surprise double take.
The first thought that came to me when spotting this particular scene was .. wow that dude must REALLY like fantasies about seahorses. After closer inspection it might be missing a pole in his hands … and by that I mean a FISHING POLE. I should give some compliments to whoever owns this particular yard – on a scale of manicured lawns this is easily in the 11 category – just not sure about their sculpture selections.
That brings us to the end of the first set of the Wisconsin/Michigan shots from the road series. Stay tuned, there’s definitely more where those came from