Phoadtography: Where Has the Year Gone Pt 1

All you stats aficionados out there are probably salivating at the moment thinking the time has come when Mr. Blogger is going to blow it.  Something like 4 days left in the year and looking at somewhere in the neighborhood of 3 posts still to go.  Of course this isn’t just to close out the month, this is to close out the whole year of blogging… to come so close to putting a check mark on the 6th year and let it slip through your grasp.  Normally I would be worried, but this holiday vacation has found me in the digital darkroom just about every day trying to close out a big chunk of 2012… and maybe a little of 2011 (shame shame) – The bad news is the processing chemicals are getting to me and my memory is taking a fish slap across the face.  The results of this effort are about 650 pictures ready to make their way on to this site in the upcoming year.  I was falling too far behind and I really want to get to our more recent photo shoots because I think you’ll like how those came out – I also know our friends in Billings are patiently waiting for our Yellowstone shots taken when we were out there recently.

While going back through the images I stumbled on a set of Phoadtography shots that dropped off my queue somehow.  I need to do some verifying, but pretty sure there wasn’t a single Phoadtography post this year which is shocking based on all the trip opportunities we have had over the course of 2012-2013.  This means I have the perfect close to the month since:

a) The pictures are all processed

b)  The Phoadtography sets tend to span more than one post

c) and .. most important of all .. they don’t really require a lot of mental work to get cranked out – just look at a shot, make some snarky response about it and move on to the next.

Linda says snarky comes easy to me so this quota thingy should be doable.  With no more delay, I bring you the Phoadtography shots from our trip through Wisconsin and Michigan back in July 2012.  For the record, I’m pretty good with details up to about a year – now 1.5 years and beyond things start to get a little fuzzy on the specifics so exact locations of where these were taken on the trips is somewhere in the fog.

Honey, Enterprise Rental called, they said you can have a midsize available or if interested their new line of Quackmobiles.  If you go with the latter you’ll be able to make better time crossing all the rivers .. not to mention the awesome gas mileage – one loaf of bread  should be all that is needed to get us where we are going.

I have no idea what is up with this next statue.  As far as I can tell, they have a weird breed of eagle up there that has massively fat legs and matching claws.  They also possess some strange craving for ummm.. let’s go with an apple only because it is red and there appears t0 be worm coming out of the side of it.  Oh, did I mention that these particular apples tend to be carried around by bears.  Feel free to weigh in on this, I’m at a loss.

Then there’s this dead American Indian we spotted off the road – guessing this was at a roadside stop based solely on the little bit of sign on the right side.  Actually a pretty good sculpture, but just seems a bit strange to have a severed head sitting at a rest stop – not to mention void of all blood.

Hit the jump to see more shots from the road

Believe the following was at Mackinaw Island – Geez, I thought they grew ’em big in Iowa but this is ridiculous.

I get it now, we fought a war completely with big-ass Stratego dudes – don’t look now, but our general is exposed – good thing we surrounded him with bomb pieces.  They definitely had a tactical advantage on the battlefield .  They could simply turn 90 degrees to the enemy and they be nearly impossible to hit being like an inch thick in all.

Okay, this next one pretty much horrified me.  You better be good or Santa’s gonna pop a cap in your ass all gangsta style.  Seriously, who though this pose was perfect for this 20+ foot Santa Clause?  All that was missing was him actually blowing smoke off the barrel of the gun in his right hand.  Say hello to my little friends Ebenezer.

There are so many options for this next statue ranging from “Dammit, who didn’t pick up after their dog?” to “Oh my god, it’s a penile fracture!!!!”.  Wait, maybe even “look, it’s that dude from Double Impact trying out for Karate Kid!”

That last quote might be a little obscure,  There was a guy in a pink gi in the Double Impact movie which I’ve made fun of ever since I saw it (link here)… I thought about going with a Billy Squier reference but that would have even been more obscure (link here).

From the weird to the strange, I bring you Dinosaur Fisherman.  Dinos didn’t go extinct because of the environment .. they got soft!

Saw that sculpture from the road – no sign or anything, just a large dinosaur carrying a fishing rod and a fish. Nothing strange to see her, just a huge dino out catching lunch.

Not far away this creature was spotted also hanging out in the woods.  There appears to be a sign to the right of it but not of the shots before or after it gave a clear enough view to actually tell what it says.  I am going to go out on a limb and say this is some kind of large blueberry complete with feet and ears that are capable of holding a paint brush.  That or it just took an arrow from that Indian a few images back.

This next one is hard to tell exactly what it is – a victim of poor Phoadtography execution for sure.  It is actually a giant eagle sculpture positioned nearly perpendicular to the ground attached at the wing.  Seems to be going in for the kill on that deer sculpture to the right.

Then there’s decaying horse attempting to jump the fence.  The Mummy meets Warhorse mashup the kids are sure to have nightmares about for the rest of their lives.  Just needs to find a few more horses to suck the life out of  and those holes will be cleared up in no time.

Hey look, it’s a life size Ray Romano!

This was a target rich environment at this location.  Not only do we get the Woolly Mammoth above, but also have a giant walking bear and Petoskey Stones!  This seems to a tad out of place if you ask me – Petoskey Stones were created o around 419-358 million years ago before large vertebrates were  even around – everyone knows that geez!

Okay, okay, I had no idea what a Petoskey Stone was until I went to Wikipedia (link here) – come for the snarky comments leave with a expanded knowledge – what a deal.

It is clear from the number of images in this Phoadtography set that Wisconsin and Michigan like their bears.  They even hire them to be their doormen.  Strange enough, management is concerned about lack of repeat business bringing new meaning to “eating” into the profits.

Check out this town square bear sculpture (if you can make it out – some major poor execution on this shot – fuzzy, crooked – definitely amateur Phoadtography work).

Hey councilmen, what should we use to decorate our town square?  Well, we could go with a giant arch made out of Elk antlers.  Nah, that’s already been done.  I know, how about a palace decorated entirely out of corn.  Nah, that’s just stupid – who would want to see something like that?!?  Screw it, let’s go with the scariest looking bear we can find – everyone will love that!

Honey, stay close by when we go to use the vacuum cleaner – if that thing spots us I need someone to kneecap so I can make it to safety.  Figured I’d pull out our running Yellowstone joke (see what I did there, I made a double joke .. running, kneecapping … sigh never mind).  Sometime you should ask Linda for details on our Bear story in the Grand Tetons this year.  We expectantly came way too close to one on a trail.  Rather than going with the kneecapping idea for self preservation, she essentially tried to depants me … just ask her, she’ll tell you all about it.

Don’t any of you Tannerite fans get any ideas – I already have a giant burn patch in my yard from a little bag of that stuff and I heard over our Christmas dinner that our neighbors managed to blow up a washing (or for my hometown readers wa[r]shing) machine during one of the Redneck Wednesdays I missed this year.  They would probably salivate seeing this prop.

Hey, they finally made a hat big enough for President Bumbles ego.

For the curious, that is a Stormy Kromer of which I only know because of the nearby sign.

They are supposedly a popular Midwest attire which is odd since I live in the Midwest and I NEVER HEARD OF THEM before.  I did read up on them thanks to our friends over at Wikipedia.  That is where I learned they actually gave the president a bunch of these when he was there to speak in February 2011 – and you thought I was kidding about the president comment.

Check this out, I was photobombed when taking this shot the first time.

Nothing like having a Ferrari or Lamborghini drive by you while out taking pictures in the middle of absolutely nowhere.  Them hats must be damn nice to draw money like that to the area – more likely donor kickbacks.

And lastly I bring you the surprise double take.

The first thought that came to me when spotting this particular scene was .. wow that dude must REALLY like fantasies about seahorses.  After closer inspection it might be missing a pole in his hands  … and by that I mean a FISHING POLE.  I should give some compliments to whoever owns this particular yard – on a scale of manicured lawns this is easily in the 11 category – just not sure about their sculpture selections.

That brings us to the end of the first set of the Wisconsin/Michigan shots from the road series.  Stay tuned, there’s definitely more where those came from

6 thoughts on “Phoadtography: Where Has the Year Gone Pt 1”

  1. Cute!! The “blueberry”, for the record, is an OWL! I fear there must be a mental block somewhere not to see that–maybe there are latent phobias or memories of car-owl collisions that are best not dredged up–just in case, I’ll hold off on my snowy owl photo trek to Chicago, no worries. I tried to find that scene on Google, given that it looks like the sign might start with the word “Lake”, but I couldn’t–you may have the only known picture of this OWL (*shudder*).

    I didn’t realize you were down to 3 posts left in 4 days! It would be a shame if you missed it because, say, you had to provide some computer expertise somewhere. A real shame, and I’d have to mute my admonitions just a tad in that case. A tad.

    Thanks again for the amusing road trip! I personally don’t see the local fascination with bears in these towns–cougars would be much cooler, for example, if they don’t drive away tourists. I really do like the bald eagle, though.

    Ron

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  2. At first I thought your owl comment was just pure insanity based on the fact it is clearly a blueberry, but I went back and you know what? I think you may be right – especially if you view it as if it was flying toward you and you can only see the feet due to the head being in alignment with the body – maybe a blue Bard Owl! Still doesn’t make it any less weird (hehehe). For the record.. I have no scotoma with regards to that owl incident – it is forever imbedded in my head. Looks like we are going to have to make a trip up there to get that Snowy – when we do we’re going to pick you up and drag you out there with us so you can experience it with us. Thanks for trying to find the location – I tried a couple of related searches but failed on all those as well.

    Fear not, I know I have credits that I can turn in if said call were to come in … what’s your forwarding number again? In the meantime keep refreshing your browser – there just might be another one coming soon.

    Just think how much more I’d be able to bring to my peeps if Linda didn’t make me drive so much – maybe you can petition her to stop making me drive soooo much.

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  3. scotoma, scotoma… OK, I just looked it up. Learned a new word, yay!

    All credits of any sort expire on December 31st of the year in which the credits were accrued. In an unrelated vein, my cell phone is on the blink and isn’t expected to be fixed until the new year.

    Linda, you simply must drive more so Brian can post more of his photos! Or maybe you can strike an agreement wherein Brian posts both his and your pictures so we can see both.

    If you two drive to Chicago to take pictures, I just might go along. Why do I get the feeling I’ll be expected to drive?

    Ron

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  4. Learning a new word from ME? that is a switch – I’m constantly looking up words in your comments

    Most credits may expire on December 31st, but tech support credits NEVER expire

    Yes, finally a comment in agreement with me over Linda! I shall remind Linda of this comment every time we go out on a trip TU TU TU TU!

    You forget that Linda is a pro at driving in Chicago so now worries at this point – although you may need to help navigating since you liver there in all … plus I’ll be taking Phoadtography pictures hehehe

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  5. “You forget that Linda is a pro at driving in Chicago so no worries at this point”

    Umm, I heard about your trip to the South Side (“the GPS says go to that latitude and go straight east from it through Chicago”), so I am now officially worried!

    Ron

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