The 2012 UB Results Are In

UPDATED 8/18/12 – see jump for further details based on biased comments

Well, it’s time to let the cat out of the bag, quell the suspense and end the betting.  That’s right, the results of the 2012 U.B. Competition are now compiled and ready for the reveal.  Sadly, I must admit that once again Linda and I were shut out of the ribbons in the local Heart of Illinois Fair Photography Contest.  The good news for me is that my Honorable Mention earned previously at this prestigious competition still reigns as the big pond champ and therefore is the overriding decider for any close results between us in little pond events.  And let’s just say that previous win did come into play in what turned out to be a close race.  As is customary, we picked up what remained of our confidence from the HOI fair and headed on up to the Knox County Fair.  Historically, we have done quite well at this smaller venue and we were optimistic with this year’s batch.  Well, I was until Linda revealed she actually stayed behind on picture drop off day to help “arrange” the pictures for them.  As she was telling me this she had a sly smile and evil glint in her eye.  This was clearly tampering putting the whole competition under formal protest.

After work we headed up to see how the judging went.  Note, a ruling on the protest had not been made yet but it would not matter if I came out ahead.  Turns out, it was really close this year!  Here are my entries.

Not bad eh?  Not one, not two, but three first places, only one 2nd place and what turned out to be a tipping point – one third.  One of my pictures (and only one for me) did get blanked.  I am not sure what the deal is, but these photography judges have no love for B&W Raven pictures.  It isn’t pictured above, but I personally think it is a great shot with a nice gray range.  The moth was in the Insects category, the two birds were obviously in the Birds category and the squirrel and bear shots were in the Wildlife category.  The latter took us awhile to figure out since there was another category called Animals which we eventually decided (correctly) was for pets and domesticated animals.  This is probably a good time to point out that I let Linda basically pick the shots I entered into the HOI Fair.  It occurred to me (after the fact) that there was waaaaay to much at stake to let my opponent choose my entries – we all know how devious she is!  Learning from my mistake, I went back picked my own entries and re-worked some of the post processing.   The Stilt, Moth, Squirrel and Bear were all new entries for this fair.  The Ravens in love shot was a carryover (but Linda was doing her best to get me to replace it with an inferior shot).  All turned out to be good decisions.  Another important point I’ll make is Linda decided to encroach in my domain and enter the Wildlife category with her Tiger pictures.  Let’s just say my little squirrel ate it for lunch.

Like I mentioned earlier it was a close competition but the deciding factor came on pick up day.  While we were gathering up our pictures one of the expert photography critics was hanging out in the building (obviously waiting to see who we were) heard our name and unprompted turned and said “I really liked that shot of the moth!”  I politely thanked the expert and gave a great big smile towards Linda.  Thank you for the kind comments but more importantly thank you for handing Linda the umbrella for another year.

She is definitely stepping up her game and keeping me on my toes.  I might have to pull out the big guns next year to stay on top.  By the way, we were a little worried when we went to pick up our pictures.  Another individual noticed us stacking up our pictures and recognized which ones we were picking up – he proceeded to tell everyone we were the Doerflers – our eyes started darting around anticipating a pitchfork carrying crowd to come and run us out their county.  It turned out all good, they even thanked us for participating in the categories that actually grew this year.  We loaded up the car, went over and picked up our winnings and called it another successful contest season — well, one of us was feeling more successful than the other hehehehe.


I see from some of the uninformed comments that I received that there needs to be some additional discussion (err… education) on this year’s UB competition.  First off, I would like to address an apparent “slam” (yeah, I used it) on an obviously kind, observant, and dare I say extremely competent photography critic that has been dismissed simply because of some deviant attempt to smear her credibility.  Linda has NO idea the age of this individual (I would put her in a very young looking mid 20’s – guessing a runner) but regardless of that fact, where does it say AGE is a criteria for photographic judging ability?   Is there some magic age where you understand one picture better than another?  some switch that gets flipped that you can now tell fuzzy vs crisp, interesting vs the mundane?  (if so.. we need to set an age limit for judging at HOI, but I digress).  I say NO!.  I therefore cry foul on this slander and call for an immediate apology – if you want you can join in the apology line that the current administration steps in after every Biden election speech.

Now we need to address the misunderstanding of the ribbon counts provided by my lovely … yet deceptive.. wife.  Even though this is my blog that I pour my sweat and tears in, I did have Linda take a picture of her entries from the Knox Fair.  I’m feeling exceptionally fair and balanced at the moment.

Sure this may look impressive at first viewing (again, keeping in mind this was arranged by Linda) but you have to look under the covers, get down to the core of the competition and quite frankly not fall victim to over-simplification.  So first off, you will see 3 blue ribbons in Linda’s group and three blue ribbons in my group.  Can we all agree that comes out somewhat equal at face value?  It should be noted that TWO of those ribbons come from categories I did not enter and two of my blue ribbons were in categories she did not enter.  However, one of my blue ribbons is in a category (wildlife) that she decided to push her way into.  Not only that, she entered TWO pictures in that category trying to simply shotgun her way to the top of the podium and she still lost to my squirrel (a shot she argued me out of putting in the HOI fair for what is now an obvious reason).  On the flip side, she beat my B&W raven but there is an evil I Hate Ravens lobby at work here – jury says…”+1 for Brian”.  Now let’s talk about the second places.  Can we at least all agree that seconds are inferior to first places?  .. and taking that to the next logical step forward, we should all be able to understand that more seconds is NOT a good thing.  Therefore it should be clear by association that less second places finishes is BETTER than more.  Taking that crisp logic into consideration, I have only one second place finish and Linda has .. wait for it .. TWO.  jury says .. “+1 for Brian”.  My apologies for having to get into the technicalities like this but this is apparently the things you have to get into to get the truth heard.  Feel free to take a little break if your head is hurting.

Next on the docket the missing color in Linda’s group.  If you look close at the two group pictures you will see something that stands out between the two.  That’s right, I’m talking about that white ribbon that was purposely moved to the side of the arrangement in an attempt keep my fans from seeing it.  Now, if both of us have the same color (as in the seconds) it requires a deeper dive into the relationship of that level to each other (as succinctly pointed out above).  However in this case there is nothing to compare because someone does NOT have that particular level of achievement and therefore it is much more clearer.  Before anyone embarrasses themselves and tries to justify that one of the other levels trumps third, it should be noted that I had already taken first in that same category so that logic is just right out.  Moving theory into practice, I see that I have one third place and Linda has zero so the jury awards another “+1” for Brian.

Since my lovely wife has decided to put all her eggs in one basket with this so called purple ribbon ruse I must effectively snap the handle.  She is all talk about this “Best in Show” award for one of her pictures and how that trumps all other discussion.  I find it disturbing that I have to point out that a win in the kiddie pool does not equate to a  hard fought battle in the Olympics.  Certain people have once again overlooked my Honorable Mention in the HOI fair (the area’s Olympics if you will) which carries significantly more weight than any other color obtained at any other local fair.  Since we were both blanked for the second year in a row in the HOI fair, my well earned HM still reigns supreme in the land.

Clearly, I will admit that Linda’s purple ribbon would cut into that lead a little bit… if in fact her ribbon was for best picture.   Before the fanfare starts up, let’s take a closer look shall we.  Indeed she does have a purple ribbon that appears from a size perspective to imply that it is better than the other ribbons we have received.  The jury was just about to award Linda her very first “+1” of the show when something caught their eye.  What do we have here?  What was originally passed over due to the excitement of the moment has come to light on a second look.  Linda did not win for best shot in the Adult competition – she won for best “PICURE”  I have no idea what the category even is … anybody?  What you see her is Linda finding a category that NOBODY knows about, having what appears to be the ONLY entry in that category and by default takes the best award in that obscure and bizarre event.  So… for those .. how did it go.. oh yes, “gullible” people out there, we must dismiss this Best in Show ribbon and expose it for what it really is.  Jury is forced to award a “-2” to Linda for behavior unfitting of a photographer. I should also point out that I convinced Linda to enter this particular picture so any awards given (if entered in a proper category) should really be distributed equally between us.

So let’s summarize just to prevent anymore biased comments.

Jury awarded:

+1 to Brian for blue ribbons

+1 to Brian for red ribbon

+1 to Brian for white ribbon

-2 to Linda for deception

tap tap tap, negate the sign, add back in…. that comes to a 5 point margin of victory combined with the uber points earned for the Honorable Mention and yes boys and girls we indeed have a winner.  So all those Woots and congratulations and baseless accolades so quickly given to Linda in the comments should now be recanted by the authors (groveling is highly recommended).  I am glad I can finally put this little issue to rest and just a little bit disappointed in my readers  … well, the ones who decided to take the quick out and simply based their opinions on biased response from my lively wife.

13 thoughts on “The 2012 UB Results Are In”

  1. Hold on here pretty boy – there seems to be a very important side of the story missing. Like the fact that I won 3 first place finishes and 3 second place finishes and then I took Best in Show over all your pictures. That is right folks – Best in all of the 90 pictures that the fair people said were entered. I think that clearly trumps everything and we know gets to be UB for the year. I have a big purple ribbon that there seems to be no pictures of on this blog. Oh and by the way, the reason you won the 3rd place finish was because my tiger took second place over you. And one more inaccurate point – the expert you mentioned was some 14 year old kid! I think you could write for CNN news with this kind of reporting skill!


  2. Oh and Brian believes anything I tell him. Gullible! I did not do anything to influence the judging. Clearly he was looking for excuses before the judging even started as he was really worried when he saw the pictures I was entering.


  3. Comparing your dear husband’s writing to that of CNN…. a very harsh statement indeed! LOL Congrats to both of you though. Sounds like another great year of photography and competition.

    — SkidMarks


  4. Let’s be super-data-focused here…

    Brian: 3 first places, 1 second place and 1 third place.

    Linda: 3 first places, 3 second places AND !!Best in Show!! Woo-hoo!!

    Well, ladies and gentlemen, I know I speak for all but one of us when I congratulate Linda on winning this year’s contest. I’m really curious to see Linda’s photos, and especially, of course, the !!Best in Show!! (Woo-hoo!!).



  5. I figured as much – I see the complexity of the UB contest is too much for some and therefore I will have to update the post with my rebuttal (and you knew it was coming). As a teaser, Linda DID NOT win best of show in the picture category – this is a ruse and you should be ashamed you fell for it! … and by the way I’m telling the rest of the family someone has gone turncoat (to do that to your own parents .. shame shame shame)


  6. How long are you going to milk that honorable mention ribbon from 2 years ago? And lets tell the real story on that picture. It hung on our wall for two years (actually fell off once!) and I threw it in the copmetition at the last minute under protest from Brian that year because I had an extra entry for the fair. So it was never intented to be submitted! Suddenly it is his masterpiece he is holding over his head. A good photographer continues to build up the awards. So where are the additional awards photo boy? Hmmmm. I at least now have accomplished Best in Show twice. Where is your repeat? Oh and this question goes to Brian’s brother Ron – did he take defeat this bad growing up too?


  7. Just read the update, and all can say is I think I agree…

    HOWEVER, you forgot one thing…. “You didn’t build that.” Per our illustrious president, you have to remember that technically, the benefits of bigger government allowed you the privilege of taking those photographs in the first place: public roads to the locations, national parks funded by federal funds, the various shipping facilities that are manned by federal inspectors to check customs for your lenses and bodies, TSA agents doing… um, well not sure what value they add, but still…

    I think the point is clear. You owe the honor / prestige of being the better photographer to the government of the United States. Oddly enough, I guess this means that Linda has to serve as UB to the government as well…?




  8. Well, one commenter has come to his senses!

    I see your point with your deflection of credit to the government. On further thought I guess we need to do something about our winnings – thinking the extra taxes we’ll be paying thanks to this piece of crap administration will cut it by 1/3rd. Then put in the Obamacare tax of say another 1/6, add in surcharges for wasted R&D on worthless green technology for another 1/6, take a 1/12 to fund birth control for hookers, 3/12ths to go towards bailing our state out of bankruptcy and then a 1/6 redistribution to the 99%rs because it is obviously not fair that someone else can purchase a camera and they can’t in honor of or socialist president pretty much wipes that out too.

    Sigh.. guess there is no point in even trying anymore.. … or maybe respond to a tax hike with

    ZERO luxury purchases (good luck to the union jobs that build those)
    ZERO charitable donations (I’m sure Biden can pick up the difference in his donations)
    ZERO trips (enjoy the extra time off hotel workers – have fun explaining that to your constitutes Harry Reid)


  9. My vote: Linda.

    You know, no matter how much I try to get it out of my head, I’m still pondering the “pretty boy” moniker in the very first comment. Is it only Linda who calls you that, or is that a general nickname from all your friends?



  10. Ron has spoken!! he has cast his vote for Linda being this year’s UB which is actually a change from his original position so my follow up argument must have done the trick. I thought the pretty boy chirp would go through unnoticed, but apparently I was wrong. a) my friends are NOT allowed to call me that – and will face punishment if they even consider that in the future and b) Linda only uses that on me when she has become annoyed with me – translated when I’m right and she is wrong as in this specific case! – clearly meant in sarcasm (wish I’d never taught her that bad habit) and not to be put in an public forum. She will get a definite talking to tonight.


  11. Oh you people just wear me out! Okay, this is very simple. My pictures and his pictures were equally judged. When the dust cleared, I came out with the big purple ribbon. I win. I no longer have time to continue this boring conversation as I am off to photograph more stunning gallery shots. UB, UB! (finger snap, finger snap) Oh Pretty Boy UB! You are letting the umbrella tip into my shot!


  12. Nice comeback, Linda! My vote was for Linda to have won the competition, not to be UB, as was apparent in context.

    PB UB, not bad.



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