It’s Official, Society is Doomed

I’d like to start this post with reading from a popular song….

“I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be”

At this point you should be staring down at a pinkish rendition of your most recent meal.. if not,  then you should introduce yourself much better genres of music (for starters, take a listen to The Gracious Few which appears to be about the only thing new worth listening to at the moment).  But my intention for referencing this umm garbage was not to make you sick, but unfortunately it was cheesy enough to fit the theme of this post… and that theme is “our society should be ashamed for openly torturing our young”.

Let’s look at Exhibit A:

I’ll wait a few minutes to allow you to catch your breath and bring your pulse back to a reasonable level .. tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock.  If you need to, shield your eyes so you can only see the text, we definitely understand.  What you saw just before trying to find the closest red hot poker to burn your eyes out was a scene that Linda and I came upon while we were at the University of Iowa medical facility.   Imagine if you will already being a little on edge from being there in the first place, but to turn the corner and encounter this horrific scene about stopped my heart on the spot.  So I get the whole Iowa Hawkeye pride thing (well, I actually don’t but let’s go with it for my marriage’s sake).  They obviously like their Herky mascot even though it is far inferior to my revered Chief Illiniwek symbol (it is not a mascot for you uneducated people out there), but hey, if you wanna be a chicken hawk have at it.  From a design perspective, I can totally get the concept of putting pride swelling decor in facility that gets it share of daily bad news.  But if you recall from your quick glimpse of the image above, some idiot decided to expand on that design point.  This particular walkway led to the children’s section of the hospital (we had to go through it to get to the MRI area).  Apparently some idiot had the awful idea to replace the yellow and black pride with …just a sec, gotta grab a bucket… raaaaaaaauuuuuuuuullllllllllllpppppphhhh  eeesh, that Twinkie looked and tasted better going down.. now where was I? oh right . replace it with a cl   rauullllgaggggrauuulllfffgaggg  .. sorry.. replace it with a clown outfit.  I’m sorry, but this horrific.  Imagine an innocent child already having to endure the fear and uncertainty that comes with having to be in a place like this and instead of cheerful trains or cuddly creatures like teddy bears and wolves, they are instead met with the embodiment of pure evil.  How can our society allow this cruelty to our young?

(Note, the ONLY reason this picture was taken was because I promised a coworker I would do this if they were able to find something that would help Linda’s vertigo and I always keep my promise)

Still not convinced our society has one foot in the toilet (hopefully flushed after our previous upchuck)?  Well, I give you Exhibit B (for the squeamish prepare to cover your eyes.

hit the jump to read more of this horror story

This is actually a Phoadtography shot I took as we drove through the main strip at Wisconsin Dell’s last weekend.  I was busy taking road shots when this flashed through the camera lens.  To be honest, I totally missed the shot on the first pass due to getting a chill that went all the way up my back causing me to lose grip on the shutter button.  I wasn’t entirely sure I saw it right (because no normal member of society would put that there) but my “can we go back” mantra wasn’t working on Linda at that moment so I was forced to wait for our return trip to actually get the shot.  A quick check of the viewer on the back of the camera confirmed my worst nightmare.  Since Linda obviously enjoys pressing my buttons, she made me go back the next day to get the formal shot for the blog.

I think my expression says it all.  That would be my “What the Hell have we come to” look (by the way, it also doubles as my “When is the Illinois AD going to fire our crappy football and basketball coaches.. thank god that is over).  Now let’s see what we have here.  If you have not been to the Dell’s before, trust me, it is a kid haven with all the waterparks, miniature golf and as Linda simply puts it general Dell crap – if you have been to the Canada side of the Niagara Falls you can use that as another reference.  Needless to say, kids generally love this place and it appears to be common place for people to take their kids for some fun and relaxation in the Midwest.  So what do we put in the middle of this kidfest… the epitome of their worst nightmares.  That’s right, I’m talking about a @%@$%@ clown disguised as a creepy school bus.  This means not only will they have nightmares capable of another record scream year for James P. “Sulley” Sullivan, but every time they get on the school bus they’ll experience a panic attack.   This must stop people, and it must STOP this second.

How is Whitney going to remind us how we used to be if the only things coming from children are the screams of terror?  Oh, just to prevent any stupid you should be ashamed comments, I could not care less about coke heads and I even edited that last line from what I originally had.  Although I will buy the defense she was framed by a clown.

On our way back to the car (with Linda thoroughly enjoying my frustration) she noticed some stickers on the window next to the clown ride.  I could not have placed a more fitting sign had I decided to do it myself!  Yes,  the camera came back out immediately.

There it is in a nutshell.  Where did they place the clown ride… that’s right, directly outside the Museum of Historic Torture Devices.  This was a deliberate breach of society protocols and a blatant disregard for our future (gag).  We should all be ashamed for letting this happen and as restitution I am calling for the immediate Federal ban of all clowns and clown related paraphernalia.  Ironically, this would be a vote to remove most of the current Congress.

I have to go and look for a cheap therapist now … eeesh!

8 thoughts on “It’s Official, Society is Doomed”

  1. Everything is juust fiiine if certain entertainment types (and that includes mimes) are not seen and not heard. The mimes are halfway there, no doubt an evolutionary adaptation for survival.



  2. Holy crap, clowns AND mimes in the same post – this has to be my worst nightmare 10 times over – surprisingly, mimes are probably more hated than clowns in my book – this may be due to a direct interaction with one while I was out in San Francisco for a Java conference back in the day – It was all I could do to keep from reaching out, ripping out his throat and show him his vocal cords … another option was to kick him in the crotch to see if he would make a sound then.


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