A Christmas Scorn

Merry Christmas Everyone! Best wishes for a safe and happy holidays. Our plans for today were altered slightly due to a Linda’s mom coming down a little ill, so figured I’d make a quick post. In honor of the season, thought it would be a perfect time to post on a funny situation that occurred a mere two days ago. Linda and I decided to go out for our Christmas dinner a few nights early since the weather was looking a little iffy (ended up getting at least 6″ yesterday and even plowed for a second time today as it continued to fall well into the night). Electing to go with casual attire, we chose to eat at Bar Louie in our outdoor mall. Convinced that the wait would be extensive, it would also give us a chance to pick up some last minute gifts. The first oddity of the night occurred when we walked into the establishment. The wait time ended up being the length of time it took to tell the hostess whether we wanted a booth or a table. There were at most 10 people in the whole place with most of those sitting at the bar. If we had to guess there were at least 30 empty tables. We both looked at each other and both had a flash we had missed a health report or something. Committed, we sat down and made our order noting that it was special day so both our diets were out the door. In the end it didn’t matter since I only ate half of my food and ended up eating some of Linda’s instead (note, if the hamburger is too charbroiled for me to eat, it isn’t fit to be served – especially annoying since they didn’t even ask me how I wanted it cooked). The “lack of customers” mystery was quickly solved.

It did allow us plenty of time to shop afterward. The ever-efficient shopper Linda was either feeling the effects of the supper or was just in a good mood knowing her shopping responsibilities had already been completed. This manifested in a night of sarcastic comments and humor as I desperately tried to find the perfect Christmas gift. I was also trying to get Linda to pick out few gifts for herself, since she gave me a wish list with a whopping 6 or 7 items on it that I was forced to give to others who were looking for gifts. I had threatened a Chia Pet or The Clapper if she didn’t give me any additional ideas. After a few stops we ended up at Barnes and Noble and by that time Linda was on a roll pointing out a number of gift options in jest. As we turned the corner Linda spots this:

hit the jump to see the rest of the story.

..and goes “Hey, how about a Ship in a Bottle, he’d love that” It is hard to capture the true sarcastic tone (unfortunately, a talent she learned from being with me), but more importantly she said it a little louder than she probably wanted to.) First off, I am pretty sure no one in my family wants a Ship in a Bottle…uh before continuing I’ll state that if someone got me a Ship in a Bottle … well I now know where …. to return it. Just a little holiday humor… of course I’ll cherish it and love looking at it …. in the dark…. kidding! I say that in jest, but it turns out there was another person in that aisle that didn’t appreciate Linda’s comment AT ALL! An older lady was actually looking at a book right next to the ship box that Linda either didn’t see or didn’t realize what she was doing. The older lady’s response was a classic. She immediately turned to Linda and gave her a scorn like you wouldn’t believe and then shuffled to the right, picked up the box and started reading the back of it.  Linda and I looked at each other and tried our best to hold back our laughter. I’ll never know if she was feeling insulted because she had previously purchased or received that gift or felt the need to defend me for my wife’s sarcastic barbs. In either case, she gave us fodder to keep us laughing the rest of the night. Luckily it wasn’t already in her hands to purchase or Linda would have felt REALLY bad.

On another quick topic, later that night we ended up at our indoor mall.  Once again, a lot of people walking around, but hardly any lines at any of the registers and there were few patrons walking around with bags in their hands.  I am not sure how this holiday season is going to tally up on the finance side, but the lack of smoking plastic two days before Christmas is very telling.  As we were heading back to the car, we passed a trampoline rig down on the first floor.  Linda stopped me and gasped out “Look at that  kid”.  Confused, I turned and sure enough, there was a kid (guessing around 2) flying up to our level.  It took a few seconds to register, but the mom had actually strapped her kid into the apparatus and was busy pulling him to the base and letting him slingshot into the sky.  I have a brand new Galaxy S Mesmerize phone, but still trying to learn how to use all the features … this includes the camera.  Eventually I figured out how to at least take a quick shot, but it was unable to get a crisp picture of the kid.

Imagine the blob in the red circle is a 2 year old kid.  Let’s just assume his mom is 5’10”  The left bars should help give a perspective on how bizarre this all looked.  Linda and I are not parents and thus not an authority on how durable kids are, but is this really a safe thing to be doing?  I will say a number of others appeared to be watching this as well (see balcony and the people down below).  All I could think of was the shirt guns you see at local sporting events.  Maybe if you catch the kid when he is launched out of his restraints you get to take him home with you?

Oh well, at least she didn’t torture him with clowns.  As a parting note, Linda never provided any other options.  She better like the Obama Chia Pet.  (I won’t tell you her great idea for watering it)

2 thoughts on “A Christmas Scorn”

    1. CONGRATULATIONS!!! You have officially submitted the 100th comment on LifeIntrigued. For that achievement I award you one great husband. Before you start scheming, that would be ME. As for the worker, that would make this even weirder – that would imply the mother (or father I guess) would be watching someone else slingshot their kid into oblivion. Tell you what, next time I am at that mall I’ll see if she happens to be working there. Thanks for the century post.


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