Holy Crap, I was called out by my brother tonight for my lack of post production this month. Apparently he thinks I am slacking off and not delivering on my quotas this year. I don’t want to let any of my thousands (ha) of readers out there to become disappointed so I ran to the keyboard to publish something I overheard at Granite Peak while boarding over MLK weekend.
Actually I overheard two things that weekend that made me practically laugh out loud. While out on the slopes some fellow boarder friends and I came to rest part way down the hill. I am sure it was to argue who was going make the first attempt at a fakey inverter over the ramps in the terrain park. As we were discussing this, three young kids came shuffling by on their way to another set of slopes. It is hard to tell in all the snow gear, but I put their age in the 5th to 6th grade range. They were arguing about something when the target of their ire looks up and says “Suck It!”. I am not sure what made me chuckle more, the perfectly delivery of the response or the question as to whether this kid really knew what it meant. I decided for my own peace of mind that he meant it referred to eggs or chocolate covered bacon on a stick. Otherwise kids these days are getting a lot more action than one would expect.
Having heard this earlier on the slopes probably made me more sensitive to comments being made by kids while I was up there. After a hard day of carving up the snow (okay, it was the Midwest so more accurate to say ice) we headed into the bar for a little Apres-Ski. This being a French word for “after skiing” which basically consists of gathering with your friends and drinking alcohol until the aches and pains in your battered body disappear. This was especially accurate that day since I had lost the feeling in the 4 toes on my right foot thanks to a couple of brutal falls racing my friend on a Snowboarder X course. A month later and I STILL can’t feel them, but it was sure fun. Anyway, while taking in the local beverages, I noticed a group of kids sitting at a table next to us. I am not sure why they were actually there and even if that was allowed, but I’ll leave that quandary for those who have children. At that table were two boys and two girls maybe in the 7th grade level or possibly 6th. They were definitely trying their best to act older/mature than their appearance would suggest. One of the boys blurts out “What a dumb blonde” I smiled a bit appreciating the classic stereotype still lives on to this day. As I took another drink I then overhear one of them say “That’s a racist comment” which nearly caused me to spill beer all over me from laughing. What are they teaching kids in school these days? If they don’t get this cleared up soon, our Census forms are going to get very complicated. The ACLU is going to be demanding the Mohawks get their proper entitlements and the Creased Ear-Lobers need to get extra points on the Firefighter tests.
By the way, I figured I’d make a comment on something that has always bugged me. It seems like discussions come up around this time regarding someone offended by a classification or assessment effort that is taking place. I would like to state for the record I am tired of having to refer to my heritage as “White.” I’ve done a lot of tests and analysis on this subject (okay, that really translates to the last 10 minutes while writing this post). Based on my findings I think a more accurate assessment would be a Khaki or maybe a Dullish Pink, but clearly not WHITE. It’s time to stand up and stop this discrimination and I’m not going to stop until I get jus… ooooh cookies!