Author: doerfpub

Book Recollection: Steve Martin – Born Standing Up

It has actually been a couple of weeks now since I finished this book, so unfortunately, I do not have a lot of content for this recollection.  This of course really means that there was not a lot that really stuck with me in regards to this autobiography.  I have always liked Steve Martin so I was actually pretty excited about reading the book.  When I was younger I remember always watching SNL with my brother Ron and it always made us laugh – yes, there was a time many many years ago when SNL was actually funny – I gave up on that show a couple of years ago because quite frankly it is boring and stupid – if there is something entertaining they beat that horse until it morphs into grating … but I digress.  I am also a proud owner of many of his albums (large black vinyl disks that have little grooves in them which are translated into sound via a diamond tipped needle that rides along in the grooves … help for the cyber generation out there).   This book is a fairly quick read and flows very conversationally.  Here are the few things that stayed with me:

  • Steve started his standup at a very early age working a little comedy/entertainment side show at Disneyland – was close to where he grew up
  • He definitely worked very very hard at his craft and althought it looks spontaneous he actually plans out many of his acts.   This even included taking the people out of the theater to provide a more interactive experience – guessing the theater owners didn’t exactly warm up to this idea since it left the seats empty
  • Worked for the Smothers Brothers variety show
  • His shtick was to appear totally out of synch – jumping from one logical thought to a completely different one resulting in the audience continually thinking about what was to come next
  • He has now strengthened his relationship with his sister
  • His motivation was continually trying to earn his father’s respect who apparently didn’t think much  of his career choices.  I do not think he ever obtained this before his father passed away.
  • He is still extremely funny since more than once I laughed out loud at something he had written

That’s it.  Nothing to earth shattering.  Again, it is a very quick read and worth the time to get some insights into a true comedian.  I was a little shocked by the high marks in the Amazon rating system (around 4.5 at the time I looked).  I would probably put this closer to 3 myself compared to the other books I am reading at the moment.  In fact, I hope to post a true 5 star book recollection tomorrow.

Here’s to the life of the one and only Wild and Crazy Guy

The Mellow Years

While walking to my car in downtown Peoria today I was nearly ran over by a car.   To provide context, I came to a crosswalk downtown and initiated my crossing under the white lighted stick figure representing all clear.  As I made it one car length across the 4 lane (2 per direction) intersection Mr. Sticky changed to a flashing hand and began couting down from roughly 17 seconds.  I was in a leisurely stroll for a change and made it past the second lane in another 3-4 seconds leaving plenty of time to complete the traversal before the blinking hand turned to the forbidding solid talk to the hand gesture.  3 steps into the 3rd land I noticed out of of the corner of my right eye a silver/white quarter panel nearly hit the ground right next to the back of my right leg.  I completed the turn to see a vehicle essentially slamming on the brakes to keep from taking me out as he turned left through the intersection.  I turned around and started walking backwards while staring back at the car’s driver and taking note I still had 10 seconds to go on the countdown.

I continued walking backward in order to continue observing the driver of the vehicle yelling at me and pointing to the sign.  As soon as I was just clear enough away, he revs the car past me all the time yelling at me and pointing to the sign – now at 7 seconds.  As I completed the rest of the crossing I glanced at the license place but it was partially obscured, mentally checked off the distance to the next intersection, new from walking that intersection that the wait is at least 30 seconds, and took note that the light was going to turn before he made it there and then….. turned away and headed the opposite direction towards my car.  I must say, this was a little startling to me.  Not because of the physical danger that had passed, but my expected reaction to the situation had changed – absolutely no alarm, no change in facial expression, no increase in heartbeat and no adrenaline rush resulting from the plausible run to the other intersection to address the situation further.  I have changed, I mentally assessed the situation in the same manner, but for some reason I chose a different course of action – I decided it wasn’t worth it and instead spent my energy enjoying a nice spring day. 

I still know there is a silver/white vehicle out there with an Illiniois license plate beginning with MRF that owes me an apology, but I don’t really care.  Actually, I do care a little in a curious life observation manner.  I would speculate that being downtown at that specific location around that specific time is a common occurance for that invididual.  I see the same people every night heading to my car and have started noticing the same types of vehicles passing by around the same time. We humans are creatures of habit and it is amazing how common our weekday to weekday lives are.  I’ll keep my eyes open for MRF to see if I can validate this theory -if nothing else, because the idiot can’t drive and apparently doesn’t know anything about pedestrian law. 

Clearly I have mellowed to a degree based on similar events and outcomes experienced previously in my life.  It is somewhat alarming, but to be honest, the rest of the walk to my car was extremely relaxing.

The Longest Walk

I had to drop off our dogs at the groomer yesterday morning which requires me to traverse some additional side streets as opposed to the normal highway path to work.  This has the bad side effect of making me vulnerable to unplanned delays generally brought on by that large yellow vehicle that transports our future (sorry, I had to do it in honor of the crappy/cheesy Foreigner and Whitney Houston songs)  Anyway, generally I have to just fight through the stops every 100 feet to pick up another set of kids.  If this is our future, it looks like we might be in trouble since they are apparently too lazy to actually walk two driveways distance to group up in order to limit the stops the bus has to make.    Resigned to weight out the delays, I started taking notice of the children getting on the bus.  On the second stop, there was not anyone waiting and the bus just sat there…. and sat there… and sat there.   after literally 30 seconds (yes, that is an eternity when you are trying to get to work in the morning).  Then the storm door slowly creaked open and a young girl slowly shuffled out to the stoop, continued that pace down the driveway with her head pointed down, dragged herself to the bus door and reluctantly hauled herself into the bus.  It was a agonizingly long, but extremely depressing.  Obviously she didn’t have any desire to go to school, no thirst to learn, no energy to engage.  I began to think to myself just how sad this was from the perspective of the the state of education in the U.S.  Why can’t school be fun, what does it take to make a day full of learning fun and how much extra effort does it take a teacher to motivate their students.  Okay, there could be a lot of reasons she doesn’t want to go from the depression brought by the cruelties of peer pressure to outside influences like family issues.  But I could probably counter that with the school’s inability to foster a learning environment to the opportunity for children to escape for 7 or so hours from a less than perfect environment to a highly caring classroom.  I am no longer in school and I do not currently have children so I can’t really comment too much on this, but it seems logical to me that learning can be both fun and entertaining with a little bit of extra work.  As I write this I recall that my brother actually devoted time to helping out at an underprivileged school where he lived.  He was able to introduce them to new concepts and exciting math related things in a very creative and encouraging manner.  I know he spent a lot of time on that activity, but he was also working hard at his normal day job.  How hard can this be for someone who works at it full time?

Looking back, I can remember plenty of teachers that actually contributed to my education and prepared me for my adult years – I can only hope this girl comes across at least a few of them in her school career.

An Extra Smile With Dessert

In honor of Good Friday, I thought I would comment on a good service experience I had the last time I went to Vegas.  After a long day of taking in the sites, sounds and odds, we decided to graze at a buffet and unwind.  The pick that night was the Rio’s international buffet (as in not the seafood buffet since I am not a big fan of creatures from the water – which is why I generally do not observe the in disguise fisherman lobby no meat obligations of my religion).  All in all, the main course food was pretty good, but the pleasant surprise came as I went for my dessert.  Arriving at the dessert area I noticed there was a counter with a rather unique form of ice cream that I believe was Italian, but it was not the Spumoni type that I have had before.  All of the choices in flavors caused me to hesitate a bit as I contemplated the perfect dessert.  Actually, I was so focused on the selection, I completely overlooked the fact that there was an individual in a chef hat manning the counter.  He was apparently a good read of people as well since he immediately asked me if he could answer any questions I might have or possibly offer some suggestions on tasty combinations. 

For the next 5 minutes he answered all of my dumb questions on what it was, how it was made, and interesting tidbits related to it.  He then provided a couple combinations of flavors that was his favorite and some others that some of his customers recommended.  All of this with what appeared to be a genuine interest in my happiness – I was stunned.  I thanked the man, eagerly took the little cup containing my tasty creation and headed back to my seat in happy anticipation.  Delicious!  While I cooled the tummy, I kept an eye on the dessert counter.  Sure enough, he was treating everyone that came up to him in the same manner, joking with them, commenting on something that might be unique to an individual (nice hat, unique purse, striking tie, how’s the casinos treating you).  In almost every case, the customer carried on a short conversation with a smile on their face.   On my way out, I actually looked for a tip jar out of curiousity but found none.  This man clearly enjoyed his job and had great personal skills – a rarity in todays service industry.

I left the Rio buffet with a smile and an experience that set a new standard for service in my book.  Probably more amazing is I had completely forgotten at the moment the complete lack of service we encountered when we arrived at the buffet.  Apparently the Rio (or should I refer to them as Harrah’s) is too cheap to invest in a personal experience at the order counter – instead of simply hiring one or two inviduals to man the credit cards and handling any questions, they installed a bunch of cold and uncaring computers so you can do all the busy work to actually pay them.   Numerous people in line were confused (generally the older crowd) and some even left in disgust. 

So on Good Friday, I give you an example of Good Service (minus the self-check in 8^)

How May I Inconvenience You

After two long months, I am happy to say I have successfully transferred all of my domains to GoDaddy.  Why exactly did I put myself through this… because of poor service at my previous provider UplinkEarth.  For over 5 years, I have had my domains with this provider and up to about 6 months ago fairly satisfied with them.  However, all of a sudden, I receive an email saying my websites had been hacked and the pages altered to download viruses when users accessed my sites – as a result, they reset my (likely all) FTP accounts because that is how the intrusion took place.  Quite alarmed, I immediately logged in and reset my FTP account and repaired my websites.  I didn’t think much about it until a few weeks later I get another email saying my websites had been hacked again and the same actions taken to reset everything.  Now annoyed, I logged back in, reset my password and repaired the sites.  A month later, I get the same message from the administrators again!  Now I am livid so I again correct everything and make a decision to look into another provider.  Luckily my brother had success with GoDaddy, so I began looking into them. 

Guess what happened a few weeks later…. Continue reading How May I Inconvenience You

Take 2 of These and Buy a Rocking Chair in the Morning

I went to my medical doctor last week for a problem with my wrist.  I should point out that I actually see him fairly infrequently in rough increments of 6 months and if I do go, I either need an x-ray or some antibiotics.  Unfortunately, everytime I go for the x-ray type of visit I have an internal debate to determine if it is worth it which requires me to reassess the extent of the damage.  The reason for this?  … because I am subjected to the same line of reasoning everytime.  
“You know you are 41[simply subtract a year for every other previous visit]?” This occurrs after he reads the nurses notes and again before I get out of the office. 

Yes, snowboarding has brought along with it some interesting injuries (internal bleeding 4 years ago, broken elbow a year ago and this year a badly sprained wrist), and softball has had its shares of concerns (concussion/stitches from the outfield fence, torn rotator, broken finger, pulled hammies and few other oddities), but I find it interesting that a few mishaps overshadow the numerous successes in those activities.  I have been playing Softball for 18 years with very few missed games – by my estimates 16 games/season * 18 seasons * 7 innings/game * 3 outs/inning * 2 batters/out = 12,096 opportunities for batters to take me to the fence and the only thing my doctor can focus on is the fact I hit the fence ONCE.  Translate that to snowboarding – by my estimates 7 seasons (learned at 34) * 3 outings/season * 3 days/outing * 35 black runs/day = 2,205 opportunities to hit the slopes hard enough to push a rib into a kidney producing some internal bleeding… if I translate that to this specific injury thats 7*3*3*10 rails/day = 630 rails to slide off and inadvertantly catch my wrist under my body. 

So, my answer is (and always be) YES, I am [x][x] years old and I know exactly what I can and cannot do.  I will fail, I might be injured, but I will have tried once I have prepared.  I think we tend to focus to much on mistakes – to remember those times and mentally note a given outcome for a given action is important, but to overlook the successes ignores the dedication and commitment to the performance – since I can remember, I have log every mile I run, track the results of weight training, written down my daily body weight, and documented my blood pressure and pulse.   Why – not because my doctor says I should, certainly not because training is fun and I am definitely not being paid to do it… No, because I enjoy the activities it allows me to participate in and provides me a since of accomplishment when I successfully negotiate 629 snowboard rails. 

My recommendation – invest in the rocking chair when YOU want to (but only under the assumption you are willing to make the sacrifice of preparation) – Note, good news this time … nothing broken 8^)

5 Minutes Of Laziness for 25 Years Of Achievement

With eager anticipation, I have just tuned into tonight’s VH1 Rock and Roll Honors Presentation.  I do not necessarily like all of the inductees, but I can clearly see their impact on Rock and Roll and must give credit to their talents within their specific genre.  The head of the Hall of Fame association steps up to the podium to initiated the preceedings, to begin the celebration of accomplishment and to …. uh….. hmm ….. well, to apparently to demonstrate a complete lack of respect for tonight’s guests.  These artists have spent a lifetime honing their craft, defining their talents and MEMORIZING the fruits of their labor.  Instead of spending the hour or two to reciprocate the effort, the presenter pulls out a stack of papers (folded up I might add) and proceeds to read word for word his speech.  Was it that hard to take a little bit of time to become comfortable with the speech, to comprehend the intent of the night, to breathe life into the delivery?  If not, does it take a technology expert to put a prompter off screen so you at least look like you care? 

Time to enjoy the rest of the show…. now that reading time is over   ugh… apparently not, Ben Harper can learn sheet music for a living, but can’t remember the writing on 6 tiny pieces of paper. 

 ADDENDUM:  Oh look, it’s little Billy Joel.  I wonder what words of wisdom he has to part with today… “John Mellencamp asked me to come out and play FarmAid somewhere out in the midwest called Peoria ……. We get out there and look out into the crowd and see 100,000 children of the corn wearing John Deere hats.”  First off Billy we in the midwest would like to congratulate you on getting to the awards show without becoming intoxicated and driving your car into the ditch (yes, we have newspapers and TVs out in the sticks).  Secondly, you get six points for a touchdown, not 3 and thirdly… Peoria is the world headquarters of Caterpillar Inc and there are far more Cat hats here than Deere (who are up the road in Moline IL).  You talked about the death of the music industry – I’ll have to personally apologize for my participation if by that you are implying the end of buying your albums.  Marketing 101: Don’t put down the people who may have previously bought your albums for future investment may be scrutinized.

Bad Karma

So, you are probably wondering why the long delay since the last post.  All I can say is I’ve had some serious bad luck during the last week or so.  Let me itemize a few lowlights:

  1. For no apparent reason, my home network starting blocking my brother’s website
  2. After numerous attempts to resolve the situation, I ended up trying to upgrade to IE7 only to have it fail in mid-install which then completely trashed my OS and caused a complete rebuild
  3. I finally go the chance to take a mini snowboard vacation only to have the room above us filled with 8 children that apparently enjoyed running around their room with their ski boots on
  4. I crashed off a rail in the terrain park and must have fallen 4 or so feet horizontally straight onto my back, unfortunately catching my wrist underneath and doing some serious damage to it.
  5. While completing the rebuild of my computer the case fan literally caught fire (flames it all) and nearly torched the inside of the case.  In fact, this is so spectacular, I thought I would include a small picture – notice the melted wire casing and the exposed wires sticking out
    Antec Case Fan Fire
  6. One of my favorite singers passed away today (Jeff Healey).  His Angel Eyes remake was actually our wedding song.

 I was starting to get pretty upset when I decided to look at the week from a different perspective.  As it turns out, these were just a few bad notes in an otherwise good symphony.  In reality, there were a number of positive outcomes from these down moments.

  1. I now know just about everything there is to know about the internal workings of XP networking (hint, be sure and flush the DNS)
  2. I have a completey fresh install of windows which is lean and efficient.  No clutter from forgotten installs and detailed restore points for all major phases of the install
  3. I was up a lot earlier than usual and was able to get some excellent carves in the new powder (4 inches the night before and another 4 inches that day)
  4. Okay, the wrist is still damaged, but I had zero falls on any of the slope runs even though I was pushing it and I was actually able to stick a number of rails and jumps before that incident that had eluded me in previous outings.
  5. The fire actually ocurred when I was home and now I know what case fan to NOT put in my brand new computer which I will begin building tomorrow.
  6. Jeff actually completed a new album before passing away and we are eagerly awaiting its release.  He has left us early, but we will forever enjoy the products of his talents

I am not sure why it is so easy to overlook the brightspots in a given week.  It just might be the bad points tend to sting a little longer and rack up the medical bills.  I’ll be nursing the wrist for awhile longer, but the picture my wife took while successfully doing an earlier rail is already my background picture. 

Next time we’ll just be more selective in our room accommodations and I’ll tighten down the wristguards before catching the rail. 

Out of Touch Marketing

I can already tell I am going to be all over the board on this post.  This is mainly due to the fact the topic today is about commercials/advertisements and I extremely dislike them – normally I would have used the hay8 word but I am trying to narrow the use of that label to special situations (like Sprint) otherwise it tends to get watered down.  I should probably backup and put some perspective on this.  For probably 10 years now, every time I get a magazine, I take 2 minutes to rip out every double page ad in it.  This leaves a muuuuchh thinner magazine with very little distractions, including those ridiculous cologne samples.  Secondly, I rarely listen to any commercial on the radio – there are multiple (non-satellite) stations I listen to in the car and since the controls are now conveniently located behind the steering wheel, it is even easier to skip through the stations.  That is when I choose to listen to the radio instead of podcasts and audio books.  Lastly, I use a computer to PVR all of my TV shows and watch them later in the night or week.  That tiny little button labeled “skip” jumps 30 seconds ahead so a few clicks of that and I am back into the show adding productive hours to my week.  Getting the picture here?  As a note, when Ted Turner claimed I was stealing his money by doing this I swore to  never watch TNT again (and true to my word).

If you are in the marketing creation business, you might want to rethink your approach if you plan to sell me something.  As a suggestion, you might want to consider the in show product approach – if you are selling soda, you might want to push to have an actor drink from a can (with trademark visible) in the middle of a suspenseful moment or have an actress get into a specific SUV and hit the OnStar button before the villain raises up from the back seat — think the movie Demolition Man and Taco Bell (as you can see that worked)

 But I admit, there is a small window in the morning when I choose to sit (actually stand) through commercials.  That time is in the morning getting ready for work.  I need to know what to wear so the TV is generally on to get the latest updates.  Unfortunately, every once in awhile a commercial comes on that freezes me in my tracks – not because it is actually worth watching, but rather in the “What were they thinking” category. 

One of these moments happened yesterday.

Continue reading Out of Touch Marketing

Opportunity K[a]n[n]o[y]-ck-s

Yikes, I have to get back on the ball and be more diligent about my entries – my observations are backlogging.  In an attempt to at least knock one off the list (clever eh, title has the word knocks in it and I used it as a clever verb in the lead-in…okay weak – it was actually a complete accident).

 On to the observation – Last week we went to Chevy’s for some Mexican entrees.  Unfortunately, it was crowded as well, but we were tired of driving around having previously passed on the wait at the Irish bar and felt the China Palace was too crowded.  So we gave a fake name, grabbed our pager and tried to find a place to stand.  In the middle of all of this, were two ladies standing by a portable table with a cosmetic display on it.  They caught my wife’s attention and stated they were “Celebrating women tonight” and wanted to know if she would like to sign up to win a Mary Kay gift set (pointing to the table) they were giving away.  As expected my wife declined and we moved to a small opening against the hallway wall.  In our endless quest to stay out of the way from the wait staff, I looked over and noticed that someone was filling out the entry form.  For some reason this held my attention for awhile.  The lady returned the clipboard and moved into an even more cramped location in the now full foyer. 

What followed next totally caught me off guard. 

Continue reading Opportunity K[a]n[n]o[y]-ck-s