Updated 11/29/08 (added Erector Sets)
First off, I would like to extend my best wishes for everyone on this Thanksgiving Day (for those US based readers out there). May your travels be safe and uneventful. I did notice where the flight reservations are way down this year. I wonder if this has anything to do with the fact that oil price per barrel is down yet some airlines are still trying to charge extra for baggage. Last I recall, that was added to OFFSET the cost of jet fuel. Funny how things go up instantly and tend to just drift down.
But today is about being thankful for things. I decided that a recent discussion I had with a friend is a perfect topic for today. So my thanks today goes to: Not being killed by my childhood toys. For some reason this topic came up one day and since my friend is roughly the same age, we were able to relate to the dangers we experienced as kids. I say experienced because it really only comes into full perspective in retrospective or immediately after a significant injury. I honestly think the danger is what made the toy so much fun. I was looking through the Black Friday ads and was taking note of the new generation of toys out there. My assessment is today’s kids must be extremely bored. Everything has rounded edges, battery compartments attached by 10 or more screws, foam tipped and restricted power. The liberals and soccer moms must be successful in their attempts to raise a pansy generation with unusually strong thumbs. So here is a short list of the toys my friend and I decided were the most fun… translated, probably the most dangerous.
- Jarts: Sharpened steel tips with aerodynamic plastic wings to increase the accuracy and penetration depth. These were at every single family outing I was ever at. Kids of all ages whipping down to ground circles at the other end of the yard. Which also happened to be where your teammates were standing making the whole event that much more entertaining. Today they have stupid sand filled blunt ended enlarged badmiton shuttlecocks. Total number of injuries experienced or witnessed in my childhood – ZERO
- Water Pressure Rockets: These were just plain awesome. The task was to fill up a plastic rocket with water and then attach them to the end of a pump. The attachment process was quite low tech with simply a piece of plastic that slid along the shaft and locked the end of the rocket onto a opening with a rubber seal. This created an “L” shape with the long end having a plunger to pump air into the rocket creating as much pressure as you could muster. I am sure it had some stupid line in the directions stating only x number of pumps. Kudos to the toy engineers that could create a seal on the rocket capable of holding 10x pumps. So now you basically have a pressurized rocket grenade. The dangerous portion came with the fact you had to then pull back on the sliding piece of plastic to release the rocket. However, a 10x load creates quite a lock so you had to really bear down and pull on the sleeve to release it. For visuals, remember what you did the last time you had to open a stuck pickle jar. My bet is you bent down a little bit and put the char at an angle to get the proper leverage. Imagine now doing that with the water rocket. How I never managed to blast one into my face is a miracle in itself. Contrast that with the fact I absolutely loved that toy. I think today’s version has a remote foot pedal pressurize and release system and I’m sure it is encased in a Nerf football. Childhood injuries: only a pinched finger trying to pull that sleeve back.
- Skateboards (with clay wheels): I have to needle my middle brother for this toy since he is the one who purchased it for me. I am pretty sure he didn’t check with my parents beforehand and I am pretty sure he gave it to me when he was in college – I would have been 9 or so years younger. I can’t remember a gift since then that surprised me more – not only was it the coolest gift I could have received at that time, but clearly he took a big risk with our parents. For the most part it was pure joy as the wind whipped through my hair as I sailed down the hills balanced on a thin strip of wood.
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- Darts (steel tipped): How can a finely honed steel tip attached to tiny wings for increased accuracy not be fun. The intent was to stand about 6 or so feet back and whip these projectiles into a cork board. Depending on the density of that board, it is probably also likely you had to put some extra oomph into it. Fortunately, the bodies of the darts in the home version were made of cheap plastic which limited their weight and thus penetration power. The worst part of it, the steel tips were almost always rusted so any accident resulted in an extra shot at the doctor’s office. Today’s version has plastic tips and a bristle board which probably is an improvement for the better. Childhood injuries: ZERO, but I did manage to throw one into the drywall which would have been okay other than the fact it embedded into the copper pipe behind it which as the main water line into the house. Yes, it did result in a leak. I received some grief from that one especially since it was above the main shutoff valve.
- Pogo Sticks: I am not exactly sure who invented this contraption, but apparently the engineering department was on a holiday during the years I acquired one. There were a number of fault points on this particular toy starting with the non-textured slick rubber foot pads. So in the midst of a good bounce off the cement, your foot would slip off resulting in a potential angle change on the back force and since it was essentially between your legs it resulted in some high voice moments. Couple that with the weak rubber end to the stick and you have a recipe for danger and depending on your disposition, a high degree of thrill. The downside is the impact on the concrete would eventually break through the rubber ends. So unless you happened to be willing to give up your personal record for consecutive jumps, you managed to completely destroy the finish on your cement driveway. Apparently, this is a very annoying result for fathers. There were also those times when you accidentally went into the grass. If the tip was not on the bottom pipe, you managed to drive it about 2 feet into the ground and completely removing the bounce back effect. This causes a rotater-cuff tear as you pull on the handles to generate the next bounce. I am not sure what new versions are out there today. Childhood injuries: serious bruises from slipping off of the pedals and the disapproving eye from my father when he came home and saw the results of my personal record on the cement he helped pour.
- Metal Erector Sets: Late addition as I was driving home from my parent. These were the perfect toy for future aspiring mechanical engineers. Basically, the toymaker raided the local hardware store and three a bunch of thin sheet metal plates, handfuls of straight slotted screws and their matching square nuts into a box and slapped the label on it. Honestly, I had a lot of fun with this particular toy, but much like the darts, they had a tendency to rust big time. This meant it was inevitable that sometime you were going to inject some oxidized metal into your bloodstream – mostly through the fingers from trying to hold onto the back nut while screwing on two of the shims or you nicked yourself because of a hanging metal bur from a slip of the screwdriver. As with the darts, this could also resort in a nice extra shot at the doctors. Today, I think it is all about the plastic, but it just is not the same. Childhood injuries: other than the bur cuts, fairly scar free.
Well, that is all I have for now. The turkey will be on the table soon and I can already smell the stuffing. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Life Intrigued 